Magic Indeed!

My friend T.W. Dub Jackson shares a technique for calming your mind after a breakup.

Getting your thoughts centered and your emotions calmed down is the best way to get a handle on your emotions using this simple breathing and refocusing technique.

Most people don’t realize the amount of stress that can build up after a breakup but it does, and stress itself is one of the worst things you can experience, as it causes a whole lot of other problems

To find more about The Magic of Making Up just follow the link!

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The majority of the people alive today did not receive what was needed when they were growing up to help them develop a healthy sense of self love.

Loving yourself provides you appreciation of what is going on in your life (even the bad stuff) because ultimately you realize, when you love yourself, that there is good in everything. Thankfulness and appreciation brings to you your desires quickly and easily. Because our caretakers lived what they had been taught they passed on to us the limitations handed down to them.

This has been going on from generation to generation. These limitations caused us to develop belief systems centered around ideas that we are not worthy of love, abundance, peace, happiness, joy, prosperity, loving relationships, meaningful work or whatever else seems to negatively dominate your life.

Learning to love yourself is the basis for accepting anything good in your life. You can say all the affirmations you want, do the dances, and work through any of your blocks, but if you don’t love yourself FIRST and foremost, the work you are doing will fall on sallow ground.

Learning to love you is the most important piece of any kind of inner work you may be doing and it is the starting point for everything else. Once you love yourself, you learn to be gentle with yourself and understand that you are perfect in the eyes of the Universe just as you are which in turn, paradoxically, allows you to grow and receive more of the benefits the Universe holds in escrow for you. This also allows you to develop a tolerance for others’ shortfalls and shortcomings.

Here are ten things you can do that teaches you to love yourself:

1. Make a list of the ten things you like about yourself.

   Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend or a lover.

   Wrap your arms around yourself (in private) and tell yourself out loud “I love you.”

2. Close your eyes, visualize yourself as a small child and hug this child close to you as you tell him or her how much they’re loved and how very special they are.
3. Forgive yourself for all that you “perceive” you have done wrong.
4. Take yourself on a date. A movie, a drive, the museum, the mountains or to the beach, where ever you’ve wanted to go.
5. Buy yourself a gift, wrap it up and put it away for a month and then “surprise yourself” with it.
6. Write yourself a love letter.
7. Do something that is nurturing and comforting to you.
8. Ask yourself what YOU can do to make yourself feel loved. Write it out on a piece of paper with your dominant hand and answer with your non-dominant hand. This shifts you from left to right brain.

The bottom line is if you don’t think you’re worth loving, who can love you? You need to love yourself first before you can truly receive and enjoy the love from another human being.

Though you may be in a relationship already, loving yourself puts you in a place where you can more easily express love to another person as well as opening yourself up to the bounty of the universe. When you truly love yourself, you feel really, really good.

When you do not love yourself, you don’t feel good. For the well-being and abundance of the universe to flow to you, you need to feel good about yourself first. The Beatles had it right, All You Need Is Love.

Don’t hold back-give it to yourself. You are most certainly worth it-you’re here aren’t you?

Laurie J. Brenner, formerly managing editor of a California small-town weekly newspaper and author of The Little Book of Becoming – Understanding the Law of Attraction-The Primer to Living Inside Out and her metaphysical fiction novel, Changing Planes writes to inspire you to your own greatest potential.

To pick up your copy of the free e-book How to Attract Love, just follow the link!

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Without a doubt there needs to be a period of reflection before you can launch into a plan to answer your search, “what can I do to save my marriage?”  Failure to stop and think and map out a plan means that you might very well end up going down dead ends and around and around in circles.  So reflect and get a plan.

If you haven’t already done so, you should talk to your spouse.  Find out what they think of the situation and if they believe there is anything worth saving of the marriage.  With any luck you both agree that you both want to save your marriage and you decide to go forward together.

You are then faced with either trying to figure things out on your own, going for marriage counseling or searching online for one of the many e-books that are available and that will answer your question “what can I do to save my marriage?”

If you opt for marriage counseling you should consider that this process can be long, expensive and you really have to be prepared to open yourself and your marriage up to an outside third party.  Not only that, you have to be lucky enough to find a therapist who will gel with you and your spouse in order for the process to work really well.

You could both try to work things out between on your own and sometimes this can work really well.  However, you should be aware that you do run the risk of making things worse because you might not be entirely sure what you’re doing or how to go about it.  Not only that, you and your spouse will naturally take your corners and hold onto positions that you have, whether they are right or they are wrong.  It’s human nature to protect yourself and that might not always be the right way for you to go forward to find ways “to save my marriage.”

The other alternative is to use one of the many e-books and courses that are online.  This can really be a break through choice for a lot of couples because it usually involves going at your own pace, paying a one off fee and getting step by step practical guidance about how to really save the marriage.

Without a doubt it is always easier to have your spouse on the same side and the two of you rooting for the marriage, but choosing the right resource to save the union is also crucial!

A great resource for working out the nuts and bolts of saving your marriage is called The Magic of Making Up.

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Before you launch into a full on attempt to win back your love, make sure your relationship is a relationship that should be saved!  Too often relationships that should remain dead are revived with dire consequences.  So ask yourself this: “did your relationship involve physical and or emotional abuse?”  If the answer is yes you need to accept that this kind of relationship is best left over with.  Instead work at restoring any eroded self-esteem and move on.

However, if your relationship was simply a falling out, misunderstanding or maybe a loss of trust then that is completely recoverable even if only one of you wants it, you just have to find the right course.

What’s good about declaring “I’m still in love with my ex!” is you no doubt had a really strong relationship with your ex and if you feel that you’re still in love with them, then chances are they feel the same about you.

Provided some weeks have past, you should take a moment to call your ex and ask if you can have a talk with them.  Don’t make it sound as though you are begging and pleading for the meeting, just make it sound as casual as you can.

Arrange for the meeting to take place somewhere neutral where neither of you will be tempted to cause a scene or let your emotions take over.  If you are really seriously stating that “I’m still in love with my ex” then you will need to take some time to figure out what you are going to say to get them back.

You don’t need to take notes, but you need to have it clear in your mind.  So be sure to take some time to figure out why you want your ex back.  Yes you’re still in love with them and that in itself is a good reason, but try and give your ex tangible reasons why they should take you back.

Talk about your dreams and aspirations and explain to them where you see them fitting into those dreams and aspirations, however don’t make the mistake of making your ex the be all and end all of your dreams.  Don’t put yourself in a position where if they don’t agree to the reconciliation that your dreams are ruined.  You don’t want to come across as needy and fixated, you just want your ex to know that there is a real place for them in your life.

You then need to give your ex the space to express themselves and you need to listen to what they say.  Do all of that and your declaration that “I’m still in love with my ex” should give you a reciprocal answer from your ex.

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Your first step to win your love back has to be to take some time out and get your head together.  It would be a big mistake to try and win back your ex within days of the breakup, particularly if it has been a messy breakup.  So make sure that you take some time to sort yourself out.

Your first thought should always be to look after yourself. That means avoiding your ex and making no contact with them at all. It’s not going to be easy to go from being in a relationship with your ex to making no contact with your ex, but it is vital that you do.

Contacting your ex makes you weak and puts you in a negative and vulnerable position.  Particularly if your ex has asked to be left alone.  Constantly calling or trying to see your ex means that you become less appealing to them.  Exes hate needy and desperate, so back off if you want to win your love back.

Instead, work at sorting yourself out.  As you focus on yourself make sure that you’re not spending all your time alone.  It is very easy to find that when the love of your life walks out on you that you end up filling that space doing nothing but thinking about them.  This is a surefire way to find yourself depressed and low and recovering from depression brings a whole other level of problems that you don’t need.

Get out and about and reconnect with your family and friends. Meet new people and make yourself have some fun.  Yeah, it’s not going to be easy, but if it’s the way forward to figuring out how to win your love back, then you have to do it.

As you slowly get back on your feet after the shock of the breakup, you should then begin to think about any role that you might have played in the breakup of the relationship.

It is very easy to blame your ex for everything that has gone wrong, but remember, it takes two to make a relationship and two to break that relationship.  So during this time away from your ex as you work on figuring out how to get back with them, make sure that you are honest with yourself and that you claim any part of the breakup that is down to you.

Did you make a mistake that caused the break down of the relationship? If you did, then you need to figure out how you’re going to rectify the behavior that led to the mistake and the eventual breakup.

Though some of the outlined steps might seem counter-intuitive, if you’re serious about figuring out how to win your love back, they are steps that you must take.

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