Without a doubt there needs to be a period of reflection before you can launch into a plan to answer your search, “what can I do to save my marriage?”  Failure to stop and think and map out a plan means that you might very well end up going down dead ends and around and around in circles.  So reflect and get a plan.

If you haven’t already done so, you should talk to your spouse.  Find out what they think of the situation and if they believe there is anything worth saving of the marriage.  With any luck you both agree that you both want to save your marriage and you decide to go forward together.

You are then faced with either trying to figure things out on your own, going for marriage counseling or searching online for one of the many e-books that are available and that will answer your question “what can I do to save my marriage?”

If you opt for marriage counseling you should consider that this process can be long, expensive and you really have to be prepared to open yourself and your marriage up to an outside third party.  Not only that, you have to be lucky enough to find a therapist who will gel with you and your spouse in order for the process to work really well.

You could both try to work things out between on your own and sometimes this can work really well.  However, you should be aware that you do run the risk of making things worse because you might not be entirely sure what you’re doing or how to go about it.  Not only that, you and your spouse will naturally take your corners and hold onto positions that you have, whether they are right or they are wrong.  It’s human nature to protect yourself and that might not always be the right way for you to go forward to find ways “to save my marriage.”

The other alternative is to use one of the many e-books and courses that are online.  This can really be a break through choice for a lot of couples because it usually involves going at your own pace, paying a one off fee and getting step by step practical guidance about how to really save the marriage.

Without a doubt it is always easier to have your spouse on the same side and the two of you rooting for the marriage, but choosing the right resource to save the union is also crucial!

A great resource for working out the nuts and bolts of saving your marriage is called The Magic of Making Up.

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Before you launch into a full on attempt to win back your love, make sure your relationship is a relationship that should be saved!  Too often relationships that should remain dead are revived with dire consequences.  So ask yourself this: “did your relationship involve physical and or emotional abuse?”  If the answer is yes you need to accept that this kind of relationship is best left over with.  Instead work at restoring any eroded self-esteem and move on.

However, if your relationship was simply a falling out, misunderstanding or maybe a loss of trust then that is completely recoverable even if only one of you wants it, you just have to find the right course.

What’s good about declaring “I’m still in love with my ex!” is you no doubt had a really strong relationship with your ex and if you feel that you’re still in love with them, then chances are they feel the same about you.

Provided some weeks have past, you should take a moment to call your ex and ask if you can have a talk with them.  Don’t make it sound as though you are begging and pleading for the meeting, just make it sound as casual as you can.

Arrange for the meeting to take place somewhere neutral where neither of you will be tempted to cause a scene or let your emotions take over.  If you are really seriously stating that “I’m still in love with my ex” then you will need to take some time to figure out what you are going to say to get them back.

You don’t need to take notes, but you need to have it clear in your mind.  So be sure to take some time to figure out why you want your ex back.  Yes you’re still in love with them and that in itself is a good reason, but try and give your ex tangible reasons why they should take you back.

Talk about your dreams and aspirations and explain to them where you see them fitting into those dreams and aspirations, however don’t make the mistake of making your ex the be all and end all of your dreams.  Don’t put yourself in a position where if they don’t agree to the reconciliation that your dreams are ruined.  You don’t want to come across as needy and fixated, you just want your ex to know that there is a real place for them in your life.

You then need to give your ex the space to express themselves and you need to listen to what they say.  Do all of that and your declaration that “I’m still in love with my ex” should give you a reciprocal answer from your ex.

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Why Break Up?

“Don’t call me anymore,” the door slams in your face and the last thing you see is your ex turning away from the door, tears streaming down her face. I know you feel bad – and you’re not even sure what went wrong, but now is not the time to rush back in. I know you’re thinking why break up – let’s make up instead.

Give Her Time
When emotions are running hot and heavy – this is not the time to try and talk things out – take a step back – give her some time and then approach things from a different angle.

No Mind Games
Winning back your ex is not about playing silly mind games, contrary to popular belief. It does involve being smart and developing a plan to woo her back, however, you must be ready to maneuver on your feet.

What You Can Do After She’s Back

After she’s back, keep these important things in mind:

• Invest time in your relationship – spend time with her
• Pay attention to her conversations
• She’s not your mother – don’t treat her like she is
• Communicate your feelings with her
• Pay attention to the way she looks and compliment her
• Be emotionally available
• No wham, bam, thank you ma’ams – sex involves two people not just you

Stereotypically women are social creatures; they enjoy sharing their thoughts and feelings through communication, through talking. They’re not asking for advice when they communicate this way, they just want someone to listen and to understand their feelings.

Even though this may be foreign to you – she really just wants someone to be there for her and the main reason women break up with men is that they don’t feel that you are.

I know how hard understanding a woman can be, but it’s really not that hard. Women are different, but not that different, why break up is as much on her mind as it is on yours — if you give it time.

Why Break Up When You Can Make UP Instead?

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The first rule to win back your ex – is to stop right now whatever you’re doing to try and win her back. It’s not working. If it were, you wouldn’t be reading this. Trying to use the same thinking to get out of this place that got you into this place is simply not gonna work. Even Einstein knew that’s insanity.

Start Thinking Outside the Box
Everyone says it all the time, but what does it really mean? It means you have to change positions and come at this from a totally different angle. Let go of what you’ve done in the past, let go of what you’re thinking about – and be open to receive new information.

Play It Cool For A While
You definitely need to play it cool for a while if you want this to work. Obviously the way you interact with her is not working. Step back from that. Look at it. What could you do differently? Are you communicating the wrong things? Or are you not communicating at all?

Woman Are Social Creatures
Which means they like to talk. They like to talk to you and they like you to talk to them. If your communications consist of yes, no, or maybe – this could be a major problem in your relationship.

While men like to do things, women like to talk about things. Keep this in mind. It doesn’t make them wrong – it just makes them different.

And you’ve always appreciated the differences before. Remember – it’s not just their body that is different from yours, it’s the whole way they process everything that happens to them.

I know how hard understanding women can be, but it’s really not that hard. Woman are different, but not that different, the first rule to win back your ex is to stop what you’re doing right now. It’s not working.

If you’re ready to invest in a solid plan to get her back then hop on over to: http://aboutbreakingup.com/the-secret-to-get-your-ex-to-call-you-back/

Find More About the First Rule To Win Back Your Ex HERE

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by TW “Dub” Jackson

Are there ‘magic’ words you can use to get your ex to return your phone calls?

Sounds hard to believe but there ARE words that will nearly cast a spell and make your ex feel almost compelled to return your call.

Cool huh?…

I am going to share this with you because this is one of the biggest questions I get from the over 35,000 subscribers just like you that are trying to put their relationship back together.

So I am going to answer…”How do I get my ex to return my phone call, text or IM?”

BUT…

WARNING!

In the Magic Of Making Up, I lay out a complete strategy.

If you use this technique alone, without an ‘overall’ plan or strategy…you may damage your relationship more than if they never returned your call.

What NOT to Say!

Before we get into the actual words, let’s go over what message almost NEVER
works.

and worse…

Puts you in an AWFUL ‘psychological’ position.

These usually fall into 2 categories.

The PLEAD:

Where the message sounds like:

“John, please, please call me. This is the 3rd time I have called. I HAVE to talk to you.”

The EMERGENCY:

“Cindy, this is an emergency. Please call me as soon as you get this.”

Now, I think you can see what is wrong with both of those approaches?

So, I won’t go on and on…

How To Use Curiosity & Self Interest To Your Advantage

Two of the most powerful forces in the human mind are

*Curiosity & *Self Interest

And here’s the BIG SECRET!

When you combine the two, you have a recipe that WILL work ‘magic’

So…

Let’s look at what you can say that works nearly EVERY TIME.

In a friendly tone:

“Hi John. It’s Cindy. I wanted to let you know I appreciate what you did for
me. Call me because I want to thank you in person.”

Do you see how that uses BOTH curiosity and self interest?

John will NOT be able to resist! “What did I do?” “What does she appreciate?” he will be thinking. And he feels good because it is a positive message.

Now…

Before you call you need to do the “Set Up”…which is figuring out what
he/she did that you appreciate.

It can be any small thing…but needs to be plausible.

But more importantly…

2nd WARNING!

Please have an underlying strategy like I lay out in the Magic Of Making
Up System BEFORE you call.

Turn the page here to find out more about the Magic of Making UP!

If you apply this technique with no underlying strategy and they call you back you can do more DAMAGE than good if you do not handle it correctly.

Okay?

What I am saying is…

What you do before, during and after you get them to return your call is  MORE important than getting them to return your call.

Make sense?

Have a PLAN! –> Get your plan in the Magic of Making Up!

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